I don’t usually read books about ME. I find it incredibly hard work reading about the experiences of other people who have the same illness as I do, as it is just too emotionally draining.

Reading “The State of Me” though, was a pleasure. It is moving but not over sentimental, and engrossing and very witty at the same time. At the start of the book, I thought that she had only skimmed the surface and that there was so much more to say, in order that people will understand what having this illness is really like. I thought she had not given very specific descriptions of symptoms, only the overall feelings.

As I read on, however, I discovered the way that she has managed to encapsulate the myriad experiences of this illness in a subtle and understated way. I can relate to several aspects of the story and of Helen’s experiences, and while not going into every gory detail of the illness itself (and probably boring the readership) she very skilfully portrays the devastation the illness wreaks on a life. I was amazed that anyone could do this: to represent the monotony of feeling ill all the time, the feeling of being at a complete standstill, of life passing you by, of living at a different pace to everyone else and watching other people living more interesting lives… Jafry makes it into a page turner!

What an achievement. I read it far too quickly and then spent days recovering from the exertion, but I could not put it down: I just devoured it. It made me laugh and it didn’t depress me at all. I felt uplifted at the end that someone with ME had managed to write such an amazing book and had managed to weave into it all aspects of living with ME: the lack of medical support, the pressure on personal and family relationships, losing your identity, the difficulty of explaining to people and being believed, the politics, the delicate balance of accepting the situation but holding onto hope that things will get better…

More than these things though, I enjoyed the way it was written. One example which has stayed with me is her description of “headaches like helmets”. I remember in school being taught that the simile was the inferior version of a metaphor, only to be used when you were not clever enough to think of the latter, but Jafry has proved my teachers wrong! Jafry is brilliant at succinct description such as this; the alliteration only drumming in further how horrible, harsh and hard to cope with these heavy helmet headaches really are.

I did find the part about the diagnosis stage where Helen gets lots of medical tests (such as a muscle biopsy) which find various abnormalities quite unlike my own experience or that of anyone I know (we get standard blood tests which come back as “in the normal range” and that is that). It does serve a purpose in the book though, to demonstrate to readers that know nothing about the condition that there are tests that can be done that do show abnormalities and it reinforces that it is a physical illness.

Jafry has a recurring conversation with a stranger through the book, which I think was inspired. It gives a potential outsider’s perspective and also provides the chance to enlighten the stranger (and the reader) in a way that we do not usually get the chance to do. These responses to the stranger’s questions/comments are well thought out and are often more like what you wished you had said, when reflecting back on a conversation later! Things that strangers have said to me have felt very significant and have stayed with me for a long time afterwards… it always amazes me the ridiculous things people say, but also how we can be affected by them.

I was pleased that by the end of the book Helen had not made a total recovery as this would have been so unlike the reality of so many people’s experiences. Her health could still go either way, as could her relationship; both are looking more promising but nothing is perfect! Although it is fairly traditional “happy ending” in many ways, it is so unexpected from events earlier in the book, that you are genuinely so pleased things seem to be working out. I really bonded with the characters, warts and all, and think that they were very skilfully and believably written.

I could give so many examples of funny and well written parts of this novel, but I have not quoted from it much as I want people to read her words fresh for the first time and in context. I kept my discussion of the ending as unspecific as I could whilst giving the compliments that I felt were only right. All I can say is go and read it! Which I may go and do again very soon, and with my limited energy I don’t often read anything twice, so that has to be the biggest compliment I could give… Nasim Marie Jafry, well done!